Is Table Setting a Dying Art?

In most traditional family stories, everyone gets together for supper and lunch, sitting around the table. This was clearly the setup in our grandparents’ generation and before that. It did not matter what your social status was – family meals were important occasions that always took place around a table. So if you were a family of farm laborers, as soon as Dad and the boys came back from the fields, you would sit down together around a wooden table in your cottage and eat. And if you were an aristocrat, dinner would be served by a uniformed maid at a long table in the dining room. The surroundings were different – but the concept was the same.

However, as modern technology started to dominate our lives, the family structure began to change. When the omnipresent television started to take over the living room and other rooms of the house, we found that we no longer looked at each other during meals. There was always the ever-present guest that ate nothing but spewed out a visual feast – the TV set. This altered the concept of the family meal forever, with the introduction of the TV dinner. A TV dinner essentially consists of everyone parked on the sofa with a tray on their laps, staring at the box while they mechanically stuff the food into their mouths. Conversation is forbidden because you might miss some of the action on the screen, which is evidently more important to some people.

So does this mean that the ancient art of table setting has gone out of the window, along with family values, unity, and the craft of good conversation? Have tasks like napkin folding, setting silverware, and elegantly arranging plates gone out with the Ark?

The truth is – not necessarily. There are ways to preserve the family meal and not to lose the unity and bonds that it creates. Ideally, the quickest, most drastic solution would be to throw out the TV. Then, everyone would have to sit at a table and interact because they would have nothing else to do at mealtimes (other than eat, of course). However, not everyone would agree to do that. So here are some more moderate ideas:

- Limit TV time, getting everyone to agree that at least at supper time the television stays off.

- Set the table. Believe it or not, table setting can actually be fun. Your children can take turns on who does it each time. The person having the turn gets to choose the color of the tablecloth and napkins each time. You could even be a bit exotic and choose different themes, such as Chinese, tropical, or royal for your settings, with fancy napkins and decorations. It doesn’t have to be elaborate or expensive – just fun.

- Encourage conversation at the table. And if you and your husband end up eating later than your kids for practical reasons, at least sit at the table with the children while they are eating so that you are a part of the meal. This creates family unit and will hold you together far more than if you are all going square-eyed in front of the Idiot Box.